Tuesday 14th August 12

My Lords, Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls; I am please to announce that The Kipper and his merry crew-of-two have arrived safe and sound at their final destination of Vlycho.  It's time to hang out that bunting - we know you have lots left over from the diamond Jubilee celebrations - crack open the champagne and raise a glass to our sailors.

They have covered a total of 3,257 nautical miles since leaving the dock at Chatham and have visited quite a few places in between.  The Kipper is extremely happy and he tells me that they celebrated with a bottle of rum upon their arrival. 

At 21:40 last evening, he sent the following:

'Landfall between Levkas and Kefalonis, it's very dark!  Working our way up the Meganissey Channel towards Nidri and our final destination of Vlycho.  It's sooooooo very exciting.  Just mustn't cock up the final pilotage.  Fingers crossed.'

The Scribe once again reassured him that there is nothing wrong with his navigation or pilotage so no need to cross fingers. 

By 01:45 hrs they had arrived:

'Arrived...a dream has come true.  Fantastic!'

Bless him, how sweet is that.

Despite the celebrations that continued into the night, he was still capable of texting this morning;

'Celebrated when we got in till 06:00 hrs this morning.  Head hurts...Did somebody hit me...Need food and drink...no...just lots of tea!!!!  Ouch, I hurt!!!'

I spoke to The Kipper this evening and remarkably, he is still sober.  He confessed to being a little squiffy last night and has been informed that he fell asleep in the cockpit so his loyal crew-of-two put a sheet over him and blanket under his head and left him there.  He apparently woke up in his bed but can't actually remember getting there.  Proper celebrations indeed!

Tomorrow will be devoted to cleaning up Petra because it pains me to say that she is reported to be rather filthy.  The crew-of-two have moved quarters to Steve's boat - I bet he's pleased to see her - and The Kipper is enjoying his first night solo in the harbour at Vlycho.  When he was describing it to me he used the word 'lagoon' so that will be just another day in paradise then.  The yacht club is apparently no more than a Taverna but it is a very friendly and welcoming place.  There are yachts-a-plenty in the harbour but the liveaboards tend to disappear at this time of year because it's just too hot for them to remain on the boats.  The chaps have been out for dinner this evening in the yacht club but The Kipper declined alcohol; can't face it just yet.  After cleaning the boat up tomorrow, he will be popping over to Bengal Light to fit a water tank and then they are all going ashore to explore.  I think the plan is to take Little Bobbie D to Meganissey so he can have a good look round: he went there some years ago on his holidays and is keen to re-visit. 

The Kipper and Little Bobbie D have a few days in hand to relax before heading home on Sunday.  I believe Steve is planning on staying on his own boat out in the sunshine. 

So, there you have it folks, the delivery is complete and all-in-all it seems to have been very successful and enjoyed by all.  The Scribe will certainly look forward to hearing about it in more detail when they return home. 

The Scribe will leave you with the following...

The Kipper
Greece
2012

Monday 13th August '12

So much for passage planning.

The Kipper anticipated their arrival in Greece as being sometime Tuesday morning and certainly not in the dark.  The usual Bon Voyage, fair winds text was sent and The Scribe thought that would be the last she would hear of them until Tuesday morning. 

By 17:08 hrs this evening the following message was received:

'We are in sight of Greece!!  Picked up mobile phone signals at over 60 miles but haven't been able to send.  Land sighted at 35 miles but still can't send, so frustrating!!  Due to arrive about 02:00 hrs, so much for a daytime arrival!!  Will have a celebratory drink when anchored and maybe a Latin (?) before going to the yacht club for a fat boys breakfast.'

Don't ask...The Scribe has absolutely no idea what 'a Latin' is all about - probably a tipping error or maybe a spelling misturk...or maybe it was criptic code for something else!!

The amazing thing is that they are within sight of Greece and personally, The Scribe finds that very exciting and can't believe they are nearly there.  They set off on the 18th May when The Kipper and Little Bobbie D shoved off from the pontoons at Chatham marina...



It is worth noting the grey skies, the long trousers, jumpers and rugby shirts and Lovely Julie huddled in her coat.  Whilst Julie and The Scribe have continued to wear a coat up until very recently, The Kipper and his crew-of-two packed their long trousers away back on the north coast of Spain and since then they have been slowing transforming from pale and washed out Englishmen abroad to bronzed Gods....

Too much...

Okay, how about gentlemen of a certain age with a tan: except of course for Steve who already had a tan because he already spends most of his time drifting around on a boat in the Med.

The Scribe now finds herself with mixed emotions - absolutely thrilled that they have had a successful trip and by all accounts have thoroughly enjoyed themselves; they have dealt with the frustrations that naturally follow with any kind of long passage on a boat of any description, and now they are nearing their final destination.  But, on the other hand, The Scribe feels a little bit sad that it is nearly all over for them.  We have followed their progress for the last 13 weeks (if you can believe it has been that long) and so we are into the final sprint finish.

However, they're not there yet and so there's still time for another picture of red speedos, or people sleeping or boys shopping or something even more interesting than that. The next update will be from their first visit to paradise also known as Greece. 

Sunday 12th August 12

The first update today was received at 15:53 hrs; following day of preparation and rest The Kipper reported:

'Second shower in two days, such extravagance!  Shopping done, fully rested, leaving Italy for Greece at about 18:00 hrs and should arrive in Greece on Tuesday morning.  Will be in touch again when in range.'

It seems their journey is coming to a close and it can only be a matter of about 300 miles or so to Greece and their final destination.  They have a week to get there (Kipper's flight on the 19th remember) but I've a feeling they won't want to take that long mainly because they'll run out of water long before then.  As soon as I hear from them, I'll let you all know. 

Saturday 11th August 12

We left The Kipper and the crew-of-two motoring the last 40 miles to Rocella Ionica but by 05:43 hrs this morning the plan had clearly changed.  The Kipper said that they had thoroughly enjoyed the sailing of the day before but they made such good progress that they were due at their desination in the dark.  I think the pilotage books came out because the next update said:

'Due to arrive at Rocella in the dark, not recommended so changed our destination to Cortone some 15 hours further on.  Only 6 bottles of water left, just enough for a little over a day.  Main reason for not going direct to Greece.  Haven't had a shower for a week, really looking forward to one when we get in!!  Before you say anything have been washing but not had the luxury of a shower.'

All The Scribe can say is....eugh!  Can you imagine what it's like on board - a little fusty perhaps? 

Crotone marked in red - not a great picture but hopefully you get the idea of where they are at the moment. 

By 16:10 hours they were probably quite thirsty but they were almost there as reported by The Kipper:

'Just Arriving at Crotone, another hard day sailing, it actually rained today, well a few spots were felt anyway.  Plenty of spray etc when wind hit 25 knots!'

This was closely followed by:

'Just had a walk round Petra for my morning excercise, she's filthy!!!  Decks etc covered in a thick layer of salt and grime and the standing rigging is covered in a red dirt.  A good clean up is called for!'

At the mention of the words 'a good clean up is called for', The Scribe was half way out of the door, destination - the airport - whilst trying to figure out how to get all her cleaning materials through security in her hand luggage!  She pointed out to The Kipper that it was extremely cruel of him to mention that Petra needs some TLC when The Scribe is so far away, she can't do anything to help.  Poor Petra...I bet those boys haven't been cleaning those bottle-screws with a toothbrush.

At 23:08 hrs The Kipper confirmed that they would be leaving the following day:

'Need to get water and to time our arrival in daylight, am knackered, have just woken up from being asleep in the cockpit, now to bed.'

The crew-of-two have been rather quiet...I can only assume they are still on board...

 

Friday 10th August 12

I'm sorry to report that this morning The Kipper and the crew-of-two were perhaps a touch on the tired and probably slightly emotional side; the reason for this being that their visit to paradise in the lee of a volcano turned into hell on earth when the shadow of night crept across the island and all the young folk ashore got up and went out to the local nightclub.  I received the following at 06:43 hrs:

'Off to go through the Straits of Messina, left at 07:00 hrs on time.  Glad not staying another night, night club ashore very loud till 04:00. Kept us all awake!  Very quiet on board now!  If we haven't all fallen asleep we will go through at about 14:30  with a 4 knot current, that is if my calculations based on HW Gibraltar are correct!'

The Scribe respectfully whispered in the reply so as not to wake them all up.  She has complete faith in The Kipper's navigational skills but did advise him to watch out for the big ships in the Straits.

'This navigation without tides is very confusing especially when you do have to apply it, am I still asleep, I don't know, who am I!  Be in contact later hopefully when I'm more compos mentis, that's Latin, it's as close to Italian that I can get!'

The Scribe is immediately transported back to that gentleman on the swim platform...The Kipper trampled all over her vision of loveliness by being rude about our Italian friends: I shan't repeat it here. 

By 18:35 hrs the update was as follows:

'We are through the Messini Straits, sailed from half way down at an average of 7 knots speed over the ground for 4 hours, running down wind and we didn't get the beast out of the bag, not in 25 to 30 knots of wind true thank you very much.  Wind now died and motoring the last 40 miles to Rocella Ionica.  Should get there about 02:00.'

Thursday 9th August 12

The Kipper and his crew-of-two left Cefalu early this morning to head for Vulcano.  At 08:01 hrs The Kipper wrote:

'Left Cefalu about an hour ago for Vuncano, 50 miles, should be there by dinner.  Not enough wind to sail by, NW 6 knots so motoring waiting to see if it fills in a bit later.  Another hot day here!'

The Kipper also confirmed that he has booked a flight back on Sunday the 19th August so let's hope nothing untoward happens between now and then.  By 16:05 hrs they were arriving at their next anchorage:

'Just arriving at Vulcano (pictures to follow).  Lost for words at the moment, overwhelmed at the thought of anchoring at a Volcano called Vulcano!'

Salina Vulcano!

On the approach to Vulcano volcano island...is anyone else confused about all of this...





Anchored in the shadow of a volcano - now that is very exciting and apparently, The Kipper tells me that it smells a bit of stinky eggs but he describes if as being 'awesome'.  I like this picture for a number of reasons - blue skies, lovely looking island, lots of lovely boats and best of all, if you look really carefully, on the swim platform of that boat starboard side of the picture you will see a fine looking gentleman - broad shoulders, fine set of thighs - thank you God for the zoom function on my phone!!  Willing to wager he's Italian!

The last update before bedtime tonight was as follows:

'Off through the Messina Straits tomorrow, was going straight to Greece but we are going through drinking water like it's going out of fashion so are going to Roccella Ionica for a shower, the second in a week, so extravagant, and replenish drinking water before crossing to our destination on Sunday and Monday.'

Wednesday 8th July 12

It seems that the last post caused a bit of a flap - unintentional on The Sribe's part and she humbly apologises to all concerned.  Having written the entry when a little on the tired side, The Scribe then re-read it the following day and decided amendments were required.  Unbeknowns to The Scribe - other than my loyal band of followers - there are actually other people reading this and the result was a few concerned texts flying between here and the Med.

Panic yee not!!!

I am reassued by The Kipper and the crew-of-two that everything is fine and dandy and they are now making excellent progress towards their final destination.  The Kipper did have added stress and pressure caused by fact that Mummy Kipper wasn't very well (that's Mrs Kipper senior not the current Mrs Kipper...if you follow...).  Understandably, The Kipper was very concerned and was receiving regular updates from home on her condition.  Add this to the cauldron of worries about the time delays, the lack of wind, the cost of diesel and the fact that they have to put up with looking at half naked females in all the anchorages they visit - well, you can imagine the pressure.  I am still willing to wager that there has been the occasional 'sailors flounce' (see RYA Practical Yachtmaster course) on board accompanied by words to the effect of, 'I'm just off to the foredeck to check the trim on the headsail'.

So, let us now catch up on their progress:

I think we left our intrepid crew in Mahon and so on Thursday the 1st August, they set sail for Sardinia with a planned journey time of a couple of days.  At 06:17 hrs The Kipper wrote:

'Morning, setting off for Sardinia in a couple of hours, will be out of phone range for a couple of days.  Will let you know when we arrive.  It's getting closer all the time, won't be long now.'

The Scribe naturally wished them bon voyage and hoped that they would finally get some good wind and some decent sailing.  The Scribe was looking forward to the word picture they would send back from Sardinia as she has heard alot about it but had never managed to get there. She was immediately crushed by this reply:

'Hope only to stay at anchorage for a night before moving on to Sicily.'

Bugger!!  The Scribe was looking forward to hearing all about it - still, I guess one beautiful, sun-drenched anchorage full of half naked females is much the same as another so I guess we're not missing anything. 

The next update came at 19:10 hrs on Friday 3rd August:

'Hi, just a quick message before you go to bed, we are just arriving in Sardinia, about 12 miles from our overnight anchorage.  It's about 25 miles outside of Cagliari.  A long hard motor, had a couple of periods of sailinng but very short.  Dinner and well deserved beer when we get the anchor down.'

The Scribe would just like to take this opportnuity to point out that she doesn't actually go to bed by 19:30 hrs every evening...although it is awfully tempting.

He continued with this update on the journey into their anchorage:

'Got some tricky pilotage between an unlit island and an unlit headland before it gets dark then a straight run to the anchorage.  Beer and food well deserved by all!'

There was a small break down in communication at this point which either meant that The Kipper's battery was flat or he was having far too good a time to bother texting or his phone was eaten by a dolphin or he and the crew-of-two had finally fallen victim to that naughty sail that shall not be named...or maybe, he was just busy.  The Scribe too was a bit busy running around after 8 chickens (last count) 5 cats, then 3 cats because two went AWOL, then the cats came home but one of the chickens got sick, then one of the cats hurt it's paw and was confined to barracks all week, then the cat got better but one of the others disappeared again and then the Labrador puppy chewed up her shoes.  It's been one of those weeks!

The next update was recieved when I finally called The Kipper on Saturday the 4th August to find out what they were up to.  It was at this point that I received the update about Mummy Kipper.  I'm fairly certain that they had reached Sicily by this point but don't ask me where because I didn't write it down so I don't have a hope of remembering. 

The latest from them came through today - at 11:21 hrs The Kipper wrote:

'Just arrived at Cefalu Sicily.  Now for shopping, water, fuel and very much needed shower.  Meal ashore this evening. Setting off for Volcano, an island just off the NE coast in the morning.  Then it will be the final 300 miles to Greece!'

Jolly exciting news I thought.  Only 300 miles to go.  It seems all of a sudden they are on the doorstep and their adventure is nearly at an end.  The Scribe spoke to The Kipper and the conversation went something like this:
'Blah blah blah blah blah bloody hot here blah blah blah white sandy beach blah women in bikinis blah blah blah blah beer blah blah Steve blah speedos off again blah blah blah Little Bobbie D blah blah in the cockpit blah little towel wrapped around him blah blah bottom are on show blah blah blah me sitting her wrapped only in a towel...'

At which point, The Scribe hung up...clearly, it was a wrong number. 

The Scribe was a little concerned at the mention of the word Volcano.  Images of human sacrifice came to mind when The Kipper mentioned that they would be going there and for a time, The Scribe was slightly concerned for the crew-of-two. 

By 13:26 hrs, things appeared to be business as usual:

'Done the shopping and had a shower, now having a beer in bar overlooking the anchorage.  Need to replace some fluids!  You want to see this place; tiny back streets, frantastic beaches, loads of character and full of Italians.  Easily spend time here exploring.'

Italians....so could The Scribe!

The Scribe confessed that her image of Sicily was somewhat clouded by the fact that she had only visited Palermo and she quite wrongly assumed that all of Sicily lived up to this standard.  The Kipper confirmed,
'Palermo is a dump but this place is very nice, very friendly people these Cosa Nostra guys!  On the happy side of squiggly, well I am.  Ashore this evening for dinner.'

And so, there you have it; our Kipper and his crew-of-two are about to head off to begin the final few miles to their destination.  Julie, I think the time has come for you to throw that bikini in the suitcase and dust off that plane ticket, you shall be reunited with Himself before very long. Steve will be reunited with his own boat and The Kipper can jolly well get himself home because no doubt Mrs Kipper has a list of jobs for him and he has work to do...Bike Blenheim is almost upon us. 

 

Wednesday 1st August 12

They eventually left utopia and headed back out to sea bound for Mahon, Menorca.  At 00:39 hrs The Kipper wrote:

'Now back on watch until 0400.  On our way to Mahon we should be there early afternoon.  Need to refill water and do a shop.'

By 13:34 hrs they had arrived and it was reported to be very hot and sunny.  Showers were apparently called for and needed. 

By 18:26 hrs, discussions were underway about the next few days.  Steve was in favour of waiting till Sunday in the anchorage but Little Bobbie D needs to move on because he has to get home.  There is little wind forecast for the next few days so that would mean motoring and they have been doing a lot of that.  It's proving to be expensive and boring but it is progress.  The Kipper is frustrated by the weather and their slow progress.  They decided to leave the next morning for Sardinia. 

The Kipper says that he has been looking at their options - parking the boat up somewhere near Mahon just isn't an option because it would be hugely expensive.  They are about 4 days behind schedule which isn't bad given the tough time they had getting down to Gibraltar.  I can fully understand Bobbie D's wanting to get home - I expect lovely Julie has worn furrows in the harbour wall waiting for him and it'll be blinkin hot wearing that Scottish Widows cloak in the height of summer.  Also, I think the dogs might need a walk!!  Steve on the other hand is one of those extremely lucky devils who is retired and living the dream so where's the hurry.  I will of course remind The Kipper that he has a job of work to come back to (wouldn't want him to forget!).

I'm afraid I very selfishly want The Kipper and the crew-of-two to finish this trip together so hopefully, the wind will sort itself out, they'll get some decent sailing in and make excellent progress towards their final destination. 

Monday 30th July 12

I received the following update from The Kipper at silly-o-clock; I'm guessing that it was sent yesterday:

'Hi, you won't get this for a while but at 17:38 hrs today we crossed the Greenwich Meridian and are back in the east.  First time since 22/5/12 and 2100 miles!!  Been talking today; our destination appears so much closer and achievable.  Excitment is slowly building.  When you get this, we will have arrived and anchored in an island off Formenterra called Espalmadore'.

Now everyone, cast your minds back to the planning meetings held way back at the beginning of the year during which Formenterra was mentioned and made Steve's eyes glaze over at the thought of all those scantily clad if not naked beauties who frequent this area of the Med.  The Kipper barely managed to conceal his excitement at the thought of visiting this utopia and Little Bobbie D adopted a devil-may-care attitude as lovely Julie was sitting within striking distance. 

Well, it seems they've arrived in the area.  The Scribe did manage to glean a little bit of sailing information from them before hysteria set in:

'I'm afraid no sailing, had 8 knots true wind on the nose.  It did pick up to 10-11 for an hour when we got the headsail out but nothing more.  Going to stay here in the anchorage and chill for the day, then onto Majorca, Porto Column (?) for the night, then Mahon on Menorca, refuel, water and supplies.  Thursday/Friday to Sardinia.  That's the plan  It's very pretty here but full of yachts!!  All things being equal may be in Vlyho Greece by the weekend after next.  I hope I haven't put the mockers on it.  Fancy meeting us on the quay to wecome us back?'

Oh how The Scribe would very much like to be on the dockside to catch their lines and offer them a chilled beer and hearty congratulations.  Sadly, it is not to be - despite The Kipper's best efforts to convince her. 

At 08:30 hrs, this arrived...

With the caption....'He had to do it, no trunks!!'

Yes indeed folks, Steve can be seen waving a little pair of red speedos in the air.  I must say that Little Bobbie D looks like he is properly enjoying himself in this picture.  Or maybe he is screaming having just realised that the gentleman next to him is now swimming naked. 

The Kipper confirmed that they were indeed Speedos and The Scribe insisted that she had only ever seen a couple of chaps carry off the speedo look - one was a nice toned and bronzed gentleman from Italy and the other an equally nice toned and bronzed gentleman in Croatia...oh, and Daniel Craig - so, unless you are nice, toned, bronzed and a gentleman and you happen to be in either Italy or Croatia or you're James Bond - then step away from the speedos!!!

Steve felt the need to clarify the following:

'What trunks! It's a red flag for good reason, just happened to be made by speedo!  Waved ahead of hazardous objects.  At least we got the chance to get a swim'.

The Sribe pointed out that it wasn't nice of Steve to refer to Little Bobbie D as a 'hazardous object'

Somehow the conversation deteriorated from there...I won't bore you...

Little Bobbie D put forward the following:

'A most invigorating interlude.  I wish Steve had warned me so I could have looked down as I surfaced'

I'm sure had this happened in UK waters, there would be a crime report in existence for indecent exposure and he'd be half way to a certain register that shall not be named.  Little Bobbie D was offered the services of a counsellor and The Scribe kindly offered to conduct his ABE interview.  He confirmed that as an ex-dog handler he has absolutely no idea what an ABE is and he just wishes to put the whole sorry tale behind him and move on with his life. 

(For those who might on the off chance be reading this and who like Bobbie D have no idea what an ABE is...I'm not telling..)

The Kipper went in for his first dip in the Mediterranean Sea and confirmed that he left his trunks firmly velcroed to his bottom.  He describes the sea as being warm, clean, clear and wonderful. 

Thanks for that...I'm off to find another fleece because as yet, summer hasn't actually arrived here in the UK.

By 19:17 hrs, it was clear that the excertions of the day had worn the poor dears out and they had retired to the cockpit to relax before dinner.

Entitled, 'Sitting in the cockpit with a sundowner waiting for Little Bobbie D to cook dinner'  

They clearly had a good time on this anchorage because by 22:43 hrs The Kipper reported that he was shabby, tired and emotional.  The update was followed by this:

'For the blog, at Steve's insistence anchored at Espalmadore, I now know why!  He's been glued to the binos all day looking at the young girls... wearing, well, next to nothing  and in a lot of cases absolutely nothing.  I did object that he was wearing the binos out but was over ruled 2 to 1!!

Immediate observations and thoughts...

He's single so where's the harm in it...

He'll probably go blind...

Pervert!!!

Anyhoo, they all seem to be enjoying themselves... more to follow...



Saturday 28th July '12

The Kipper and the crew-of-two arrived in Torrevieja safe and sound and by 20:35 hrs they were out and about enjoying the sights and sounds:

'Out in Torrevieja on a Saturday night, tapas for dinner, very Spanish.  Pity about the clientele: Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham accents everywhere! Checked the bilge today as every day was full of water, 8 gallons!  We have a leak!  Stern gland and keel bolts checked - one appeared to be weepig, further inestigation...no it isn't.  Then discovered the toilet inlet pipe what was replaced by lurverly Pete the tank man was leaking.  A job to do tomorrow before we can put to sea.  Thought I may have to lift out and have a new seacock fitted...phew!'

Phew indeed; that would have been extremely costly. 

Pete the Tank Man

May I take this opportunity to apologise to our friends from the North of our fair land - you all have lovely accents, clearly The Kipper doesn't appreciate your melodious tones.

Sunday 29th July 12 - The Kipper udpated as follows:

'Up early, before the heat of the day, 06:30 hrs and repaired the split pipe, all done by 08:00.  Cleaning up, hope to be away by 10:00 hrs for Ibiza.  Yippee, moving on again.'

After a little prompting from The Scribe, he provided the following information:

'It's about 120 miles direct but we have an easterly so will be going North then as the wind veers will then go east.  Probably end up doing 140.  24 hours or so to get there.'

Thursday 26th July '12

At 09:51 hrs The Kipper updated us as follows:

'Morning, having motored all night in a very light westerly wind (draught more than wind) we are now about 30 miles from Almeria.  We are considering keeping going to Torrevieja (another 24 hours from this eveninng).  We could then meet up with Dano and Viv (aka Alan & Vivien).  Will keep you posted.'

Given the report of the light wind conditions, The Sribe enquired if the nasty, scheming, vicious little sail had been given it's freedom.  The report at 15:04 hrs was as follows:

'That recalcitrant sail has been kept safely buttoned up in the forepeak.  Had a couple of problems during the night, the engine almost died, appeared to be cured  after I bled the system.  It died again at lunchtime and wouldn't clear so sailed into Puerto de Aguadulce.  On the approach to the harbour tried the engine, it started and ran correctly.  Will change all filters on oil and try again.  A frustrated Kipper.'

The Kipper sent this picture of the windscoop working it's magic - present from The Scribe prior to leaving the UK









By 20:16 hrs, The Kipper wrote:

'Job done with able assistance from the crew-of-two.  Engine restarted first time and sounded like an engine should!  See what tomorrow can throw at us!'

By 20:19 hrs it seemed things had changed...

'Will be working on fuel system changing filters this evening, keeping fingers crossed it all works.  Will have a 24 hour run up to Torrevieca to try it out.'

At 18:37 hrs on Friday 27th July they were well on their way again:

'Left port this morning at 09:30, decided to give the engine a good run before crossing to Ibiza.  So the wind decided to blow in our favour for once, had a brilliant sail, maintained 6 - 7 knots all day.  Wind has now died off to 8 knots so can now try out the engine.  Heading for Torrevieja, should arrive by about 10:00 in the morning.'

At 19:46 hrs, The Kipper wrote:

'Violence has broken out on board...fly killing is back on the agenda!  Where do they come from?  I know where they go...fly hell!!!'

If anyone reading this might know of a good entomology professor who could help with this problem, could you put them in touch with The Kipper.  Thank you kindly. 

That was the last update from The Kipper and the crew-of-two, hopefully they should be nearing Ibiza and will soon be ashore exploring the sights and sounds...and no doubt, the bars...

Wednesday 25th July '12

19:46 hrs and I have just received a rather disturbing text from Little Bobbie D:

'Scribe.  Update on crew injuries.  Steve, broken shoulder - 'Release spinnaker pole Kipper...NOT THAT FAST!' Kipper, sore hip carrying 50 litres of water from Morrisons.  Steve, knee cartilage from carrying 2cwt of food from Morrisons.  Kipper, knee ligaments, falling off lump of 4x2 meant to be boarding ramp.  Steve and Kipper, sore thumbs x 4, suburn x 1, sore neck x 2, sprained knee x 1.  Mental despair x 2.  Fixing grating all bloody weekend and not a word of thanks.  Kipper sore finger, pushed a couple of buttons.  Anon.  PS.  Bobbie D ok ish.  Little Bobbie D makes me sound like bloody 50's rocker, which clearly I'm not.'

The Scribe has several observations to make.

1) They have been warned on more than one occasion not to let that spinnaker out of the bag but do they heed advice...do they heck as like!  Last time it showed it's ugly face on deck, it almost caused a mutiny and now it has managed to take out one of the crew-of-two.  Not only that but the sneaky little sail has managed to transfer the blame onto the beleagured Kipper.  I await an update on progress although I have a sneaking suspicion in this instance, 'broken shoulder' may be defined as minor graze and a bit of a bruise.  I need blood and bone poking through skin before I am overcome with concern. 

2) The Scribe wishes she had shares in Morrisons...

3) The Scribe also wishes she had shares in Ralgex, Voltarol surgical knee supports and Valium

4) There is never any excuse for sunburn - deal with it!

5) The Scribe thinks perhaps the author of said text might have had his buttons pushed...

6) Boarding ramp probably fine - no doubt an alcohol induced fall...

and finally, as for the complaint about the tag, 'Little Bobbie D' - a little late to complain about it now don't you think and I couldn't possibly comment about the 50's rocker thing as I am far too young!!

I can only guess from this that they are still in Gibraltar and are probably being measured for bathchairs and having a Stannah stair lift fitted in the companionway.

At 21:15 hrs, The Kipper sent the following update:

'Yes, left Gib this morning on route for Cartegena.  I will leave Bobbie D  to make up stories for you!  Whilst I was away, the crew-of-two worked like proper crew, did the shopping, went to the bar, repaired the cockpit grating (problem job), went to the bar, cleaned the boat, went to the bar.  That was about it.  Had an admission today, they need a few days to dry out!!!  Still, the passage should sort that out.  As you know, yesterday did the tourist bit, walked up hill and down dale for miles up and in the Rock.'

At 21:31 hrs, Steve sent the following update:

'Hi Scribe.  Got the blog update  from The Kipper.  He failed to mention the heroic work done by Scabby Crew in his absence!  Re-stock.  Full clean.  Extensive repair to cockpit grate, including battle with epoxy!  Not to mention Olympic drinking whilst cheering on Wiggins in The Tour De France!'

One question remains...what on earth did they do to the cockpit grate!!! 

Little Bobbie D is now silent which means the other two have either locked him in the forepeak and confiscated his phone or he's sulking because it's too late to change his name.  I may have to send Julie out there to take him in hand. 

Tuesday 24th July '12

When last we met, The Kipper had returned home for the birthday party leaving the crew-of-two to fend for themselves.  You will be pleased to hear that The Kipper has now returned to Yacht Petra and has no doubt joined the crew-of-two in the bar. 

They have been enjoying the sights in Gibraltar and have sent the following pictures for our entertainment:

A nice picture of the crew-of-two!

This picture was entitled 'Bob with his pensioner friends'.  I don't think the gentleman with the walking stick has any intention of letting the suspicious looking man in the blue tee shirt anywhere near his lady friends. 

A rare opportunity of seeing The Kipper and the crew-of-two in the same shot.  Note the sticking tape on the starboard side and midships of little Bobbie D's sunnies.  Allegedly broken by The Kipper in a fit of pique but we have no evidence so the Mighty CPS have ruled out any form of prosecution. 

I presume this is a picture of the marina in Gibraltar but I won't swear to it.  This picture was very helpfully entitled 'marina next to a runway'.  One assumes it must be rather a noisy berth.

And finally....just incase anyone had forgotten that this blog is actually about three blokes who have gone sailing...

A picture of the harbour in Rota - at least this one has water and boats in it...

The last update of the evening from The Kipper states that they are leaving in the morning for either Cartegena or Ibiza: the weather will decide.  

Saturday 21st July 12

The cew-of-two have been left on their lonesome in sunny Gibraltar - can anyone else in the class see a potential problem with that?

Sure enough it seems that since The Kipper left they have been hard at work...down the pub.  At 20:31 hrs they sent the following:

'Evening Scribe.  Scabby crew here!  Shabby night last night.  Shopping done this morning then back in the bar by 4 pm.  You can tell we are unsupervised!'

I have tasked them to send a picture of one of the famous Gibraltar apes - at least that will mean a long walk to the rock and they will be out in the fresh air for a couple of hours.  Unfortunately, they missed the point and it has been suggested that little Bobbie D will be suited up. 

I am suddenly reminded of a time when Captain Jack Aubrey RN had to dress up in a bear skin whilst accompanied by his friend naval surgeon Stephen Maturin (fluent in Spanish so naturally Jack had to be the bear) in order to evade escape while crossing Spain. 

If you haven't yet read the Patrick O'Brien books may I humbly suggest you go out and buy them; start at the beginning of the set and don't come crying to me if you get totally hooked and can't put them down.

Friday 8th July 12

Hang out the bunting, put the beers on  ice, heralding trumpets step forward...The Kipper and the Crew-Of-Two have finally made it to Gibraltar.  Update from The Kipper as of 08:02 this morning reads:

'Arrived Gibraltar!  20 knots at times but smooth passage through the Straits.  Unfortunately no photos; it was dark, may have some later of the dawn - now for breakfast.'

Congratulations passed on from The Scribe.

The Kipper has no time to dawdle about drowning in self adulation about finally making it into the Med - he now has a plane to catch so he can be home for the eldest son's birthday this weekend. 

He duly arrived at the airport for his flight home and even this proved to be problematic.  I don't think there is a career as a tour guide beckoning for The Kipper; it seems that any travel plans he carefully puts in place go completely awry be it by weather or some kind of aviation disruption. At 21:25 hrs a somewhat grumpy Kipper sent the following:

'Arrived Gib Airport by 17:00 went through to the departure lounge ready for my flight at 19:40 hrs.  Then told, flight delayed, still here not due to take off till 00:30 and arriving back at Luton at 02:30.  Bloody hell, I'm knackered.'

The Scribe sincerely hopes that given the effort to get to this party, it will rival a banquet fit for Her Majesty. 

Thursday 19th July cont...

This episode deserved a little entry all of it's own. 

The Kipper and the crew-of-two planned to leave for Gibraltar today and this morning, that plan was looking pretty good.  At 08:40 hrs he wrote:

'Weather checked, tides checked, ready to go, can't get out of Rota Marina till it's too late!  Dah!  We'll be leaving at 16:00 to arrive in Gibraltar at breakfast time.'

At 11:56 hrs he sent the following little gem:

'Swear, swear, swear, just put water in the fuel tank!!!  Now draining the fuel tank!!'

Once again The Scribe felt it was a case of less said...

At 14:58 hrs an anonymous text was received from the crew-of-two:

'Dear Scribe.  Have you heard about this mornings fun and games.  It was a beauty.  Crew loyalty prevents me going into details but suffice to say it is the last time I take any stick about left handed bowlines or putting the teaspoons back in the drawer upside down.  Anon.'

Left handed bowlines???? 

As for upside down teaspoons - my, my, clearly The Kipper has been on good form. 

Now, in an attempt to be fair to The Kipper, his water filler cap and the fuel filler cap are dangerously close together on the aft deck. I seem to recall that the cap for the fuel rather helpfully has the word 'fuel' written across the top and the water filler cap stands slightly proud of the deck. It's an easy mistake to make, in broad daylight and bright sunshine, presumably sober, wearing his glasses and clearly in no particular rush because they couldn't get out of the marina until 4 pm!! 

By 17:14 hrs they had resolved the problem and were underway again:

'We have left Rota, now on our way towards Cape Trafalgar where we will toast Nelson and then onto Gibraltar.  Should be there before breakfast.'

Mediterranean sea, here they come...

Thursday 19th July 12

I left The Kipper and the crew-of-two safey tucked up in Rota and was ever hopeful that they would be successful in their attempts to get through the Straits before The Kipper heads back.  The Kipper sent the following update on Tuesday:

'A quick update, whilst in Ayamonte, got accosted by a Norwegian couple, him a 50 ish tobacco chewing spaced out live aboard whose life is a series of disasters and she is a 20 ish large breasted woman, far more sensible and pleasant.  Thought we had escaped them when we left: they just found us on Rota, eek!  If only we could move on!  Looks like the weather is looking good for us to go through the Straits on Thursday;  Just booked my flight back for Friday night to Luton.'

At this juncture The Scribe feels it would better to remain silent and pass no comment at all. 

The Kipper reported that it is very hot and so afternoon siestas seem to be the order of the day.  The Scribe felt it only fair to warn The Kipper that he might need to get his vest and his brolly out of storage before returning to the UK.  Despite being very hot, it was still extremely windy, blowing 25 kots from the east.  He and the crew-of-two were off to visit Cadiz and The Scribe was assured that it was purely going to be a cultural visit. 

Wednesday found them firmly settled in Cadiz and at 15:51 hrs, The Kipper reported:

'Wow, in Cadiz , it's soooooo hot, 95.  Energy saped out of me.  Sitting in the shade drinking water (!) waiting for the ferry to take us back to Rota.  Very nice ancient city, lots of narrow streets and pleasant little squares and old buildings.  An enjoyable day.  Checkig the weather when we get back, hope to be off for the Straits tomorrow'. 

Sunday 15th July '12

It's a little tricky to keep up with progress at the moment; The Kipper and his crew-of-two are making all speed towards Gibraltar.  On Friday evening, they were safely tucked up in Lagos and were carefully watching the weather to see if they might get the break they need to get safely through the Straits.

At 08:46 hrs on Saturday 14th July, The Kipper wrote:

'We are just preparing to leave for Ayamonte on the Portugese/Spanish border, just 60 miles.  Killing time really to give the Levanter time to go through.  Plan to move onto Rota, Cadiz Bay to stop whilst I return home for the party.  We need to be in port tonight to celebrate Bob D's retirement day.  It's official, his last day in the job today.  Wind has abated from 30 knots to 20 so shouldn't take long to knock off the miles.'

There followed texts to little Bobbie D wishing him hearty congratulations on his retirement and welcoming him back into the real world. 

By 23:21 hours that day they had arrived back on dry land and once again, I think the drink may have played a part in the messages received from The Kipper. His first update of the evening didn't confirm where they were or any details about how the sailing went, the weather conditions or anything even remotely like it.  No, he sent me a message to tell me that they were eating snails, anchovies and cheese shavings which he found to be a weird mix. 

I did later receive a text from him to let me know that they arrived at Atamonte at 21:00 hrs and had taken Bob D out for a retirement drink and tapas.  I didn't know that snails were to be found on a tapas menu. 

I'm thinking of booking The Kipper onto a photographic course.  Poor Steve looks like he has just eaten a dodgy snail and something strange has happened to little Bobbie D's eyes.

The next update from The Kipper was received at 16:28 hrs today (Sunday) and read as follows:

'We have another scorcher, not a cloud to be seen!  Left Ayamonte this morning with a NW F4 so very broad reaching.  Then, as the day warmed up, after an hour the wind started to drop off, tried getting the beast out of the bag but it completely scared off the remnants of what breeze there was.  It's now safely back in the bag.  Motoring towards Rota in Cadiz Bay, going to check the weather as we get closer to see if there will be time to get to Gibraltar before the Levanter sets in.  Game of the day is fly swotting!  Bobbie D is going berserk with a rolled up newspaper (The Times, if you please) and I'm at it with my right flip-flop, it's better than the left one!'

I fear they may have been drinking sea water!!!!

Interestingly, at 18:41 hrs, I received the following from an anonymous member of the crew-of-two:

'Scribe.  Kipper put kite up today.  40 mins huffing, puffing and titting about to get it up.  5 minutes later back down cos kite won't fly without wind.  Meanwhile did anyone notice the helm burning to a crisp while conning inch perfect course through mine field of crab pots.  Did they bugger.  Anon.
 p.s. In fit of pique Kipper broke my sun glasses just cos I 'poisoned' his tea with sugar.  Will be bloody more than sugar next time.'

I did warn them about that nasty little sail and I distinctly remember warning them not to let the damned thing out of the bag.  See what's happened now: they're tetchy, using extreme violence on flies, making threats to poison each other and breaking things.  It's a nasty little sail and I think they should court martial it, find it guilty, fill it's sail bag with rocks and throw it off the side immediately.

For those reading this who may either have signed up for or be thinking of taking any kind of sailing class, please note the clever and if I may say, appropriate use of that technical sailing expression, 'Titting about'.  Perfect usage here; seems to adequately sum up the situation and paints a very vivid word picture don't you think. 

The Kipper's final update of the evening was received at 22:29 hrs:

'Made it to Rota, Cadiz Bay, the kites well controlled, just thought it needed an airing and to be shown the sun!  The only violence was towards the pesky flies, don't know where they came from but they went to fly hell.  F7-8 in the Straits with rough seas, staying put till it blows through.'

The Kipper confirms that they are only about 70 miles from the Straits; I still have high hopes that they will get through before he has to fly home for the birthday party.  We'll know more tomorrow. 

Saturday 14th July 12

It was inevitable I suppose that the pressure of three chaps of a certain age all cramped together in a small boat would begin to take it's toll.  Of course none of them have said anything directly but it's the little hints and comments that point in that general direction.  Then again it could be that I am suddenly receiving snippits from the crew-of-two about life on board and so I have a snapshot of life  through different eyes. 

I believe that the following comments may have been written and sent when the crew had taken a drink in a local bar in Cascais... 

At 20:45 hrs on Tuesday 10th July, The Kipper wrote:

'Not sure that it's wise to give them (the crew-of-two) the opportunity to speak, they should be treated like mushrooms, kept in the dark and buried in poo (I cleaned that up a bit).  The are a very scabby crew; giving them the right to speak is unheard of!'

Flippin eck!  Sometimes his 'Traffic Inspector' roots have a habit of breaking through to the surface - bet he was a tough Guv'nor.  At this point, The Scribe did remind The Idiot  Kipper that she was recording all of this and is writing it ALL down. He rather sulkily replied,

'Yes I know, I've nothing more to say....ever!'

Like we all believe that.....

While The Kipper was sulking and no doubt worrying about what the crew-of-two might reveal, I received the following from Steve:

'It seemed like I was Billy No Mates with the other two glued to their phones but then the flood gates opened!  Bob D and I may need a minute for this!'

At 20:49 hrs he wrote:

'At last the worms can turn.  Hmm, where to begin.  In his defence...lots of good calls on the weather.  However, the re-telling of stories features highly....'

At which point The Scribe felt it only fair to point out that it was his age and that he (Steve) would be that old one day.

He continued:

'He is a tinkerer!  Forever adjusting things!  Course, sails coming up and telling us that we have done so much and have so much to go when it's bloody miles and...'

The Scribe quietly beginning to wish she'd never asked...

'...What we really wanted him to do was put the kettle on while he was down and decide what he wanted for dinner!  Other than that,  things are just fine and dandy'.

Note to self: remind The Kipper not to fiddle - don't know how many times we've had that conversation. 

The Scribe tried to be helpful in relation to the tea and dinner thing by pointing out that telepathy rarely works and sometimes one has to use a form of verbal communication. 

By the Wednesday morning there had been a new outbreak of peace and love aboard Petra and things were back to normal.  It seems that the night before may have had something to do with the consumption of beers and The Kipper's monster G&Ts.  They planned to take the day off to go and visit Lisbon.  At 10:20 hrs, The Kipper wrote:

'The G&T's are my normal concoction (lethal), maybe a little exuberant with the gin last night!  If I can get them moving, off into Lisbon today.'

Steve confirmed that they were indeed having a day off and apologised for the sudden end to his texts of the night before - confirmed once again that the Gin was the undoing of him.  No word yet from little Bobbie D; I sincerely hope that the Gin has't undone him completely.

I received an update at 23:46 hrs;

'Had a good day in Lisbon, walked our socks off, had a nice lunch and stopped for a couple of beers.  Got bak to Petra, a gale was blowing, been out to dinner in Cascais and finished the day off with coffee and brandy.  A very satisfactory day off.  Hoping to make the short hop, 52 miles to Sines in the morning; that is if the wind doesn't have a say in the proceedings.'

By 06:52 the following morning they were underway again.

'The wind has died to nothing this morning.  We are moving on to Sines about 50 miles.  Would like to get there before the very strong sea breeze gets going during the evening.'

Later that day I received the following:

'Arrived at Sines at 18:30 hrs, 9 hours down wind sailing at 6 knots in 15 to 20 knots of breeze.  Brilliant!  Now anchored off the beach, G&T's in hand whilst I prepare dinner in the sunshine.  Not seen a cloud all day!  A great day, tomorrow due to round Cape St Vincent, Wow!.'

From this we can deduce my dear Watson that they had rather a good days sailing today.  Still no word from little Bobbie D - I hope Julie has heard from him otherwise I fear the Custom of the Sea may have been invoked and the other two have eaten him!

At 21:24 hrs on the Thursday evening The Kipper wrote:

'Been looking at the weather for the Straits, an easterly laventer starts on Sunday morning which means we have to do 25 miles in 48 hours.  We must average 5 knots to get through or be held up for a week!  We are leaving at 06:00 hrs and going for it!!!'

At 07:51 hrs on the Friday morning, it was confirmed:

'We left Sines at 06:00 and are on the way making best speed.  Have a N5-6 forecast so should make good progress but it is Friday 13th!  I can't see us making it through the Straits before the stonking easterly arrives on Sunday but we are going to give it a good try.'

A somewhat grumpy text was received from Steve:

'The Kipper got us out of our pits at sparrows fart this morning.  Had to haul anchor before tea!  Now making a dash for the Straits.'

And finally, a text from little Bobbie D - He's alive!  Julie...pop that life insurance policy back in that drawer....

'Just realised why you have not recieved my texts.  The Kipper gave me the wrong number, the sly git!  Real number now saved and the true story will soon be revealed.'

At 20:27 hrs on Friday evening, The Kipper wrote:

'Hi, we had a fantastic sail down to Cape Vincente, where we turn left for Gibraltar.  Across the Algarve they have a F7-8 blowing so have given up trying to get the Gib by Sunday morning, have put into Lagos safe and well if a little wind swept.  Will check the weather and decide how we will proceed from here.  Will probably be looking for a flight back from Gibraltar area on Thursday for Roger's 40th birthday party.  Feel very disappointed at the moment as the weather is putting everything in our way at every step.  Still, we will suceed eventually.'

His thoughts were backed up in a later text received at 22:21 hrs that eveing:

'Just having dinner, it will not now be possible to get through the Straits by Sunday, we had 45 mins in hand to make the tidal gate off Cape Trafalgar, it's well gone now, but it's not chilly, in fact the opposite, we haven't had a cloud for 3 days now, sun hat and cream essential.  As we had 3-4 metre waves with a 7 (35 knots) of wind.  Top speed surf recorded was 11.2 knots!  Had to gybe to make the turn, all very exciting!  You will be pleased to hear we all survived.'

The Scribe was eager to know who was on the helm and reached such heroic speeds:

'Steve was the culprit, verified on the max speed on the log.  My max was a mere 10.4.  Don't know if luck had anythig to do with it, well, according to Steve  it wasn't.  I'm buring after the wind, sun and salt spray.  So much spray around we had to wear waterproofs, spray was being blown off the top of the waves, faces were burnig when we got in.  All very exciting but not the time to start a 150 mile passage.'

So ladies and gentleman, there you have it; our intrepid sailors are currently in Lagos.  I must confess that as I used to sped the majority of my geography class in the thickie corner, I thought Lagos was in Africa!  I have looked it up and see that it looks like a very nice place to visit so it could be worse for them. 

In the mean time, I'm off to book the three of them appointments to see a liver specialist and then book them into The Priory for detox.



Tuesday 10th July '12

The update I received today puts The Kipper and the crew-of-two at a place called Cascais, Portugal.  At 09:38 hrs the update was as follows:

'Just arrived at decision making point, my head hurts!  Go into Cascais, do washing etc, go on 60 miles to Sines or 120 miles to Faro or 200 miles to Cadiz?  Yesterdays forecast we agreed Cadiz, todays forecast: Cascais, N6 with a 2.5 metre swell predicted over night, we'll give that a miss thanks.'

News has also reached them about our continuing inclement weather and of course as a result, he just couldn't help mentioning that they were basking in sunshine.  He did also make mention that they have read the blog and that The Scribe would be 'taken in hand!' 

At 16:18 hrs, The Kipper wrote

'Arrived Cascais at 13:30 hrs, cleared away etc., boys doing the washing.  It's very warm here with a 20-25 knot wind blowing.  Sheduled to last till Thursday night.  Planning a day off in Lisbon tomorrow and then a day sail 60 miles to Sines on Thursday.  Friday it will be 200 miles to Cadiz, nearly in the Med!!!'

The Kipper says he will be holding on very tight to the reigns when they 'hoon' (technical sailing expression) their way through the Straits of Gibraltar.  I hope it lives up to it's billing and I look forward to hearing how they get on.  After that, it's all glorious Mediterranean sailing all the way to Greece.  Just think of all those lovely places they can stop for a little rest and relaxation.  I think I might have to remind The Kipper that he has to be back at some stage for work or at the very least to have a break from the idyll.  I'm pretty sure that once he has popped back for any period of time it won't be long before he will want tobe back aboard Petra enjoying the sun, the sea and the sailing. 

I haven't had much of an update from the crew-of-two: I have sent a little message to prompt them into giving me a picture of life on board from their side of things.  It's only fair that they get the chance to rat on  update me on life on board with The Kipper. 

Cascais isn't marked on this map but you can see Lisbon and that's close enough.  I look forward to hearing about the town and all it has to offer.  Further down the coast you will see Sines and then, Faro at the bottom.

This excerpt was taken from the website www.tripadvisor.co.uk:

An old fishermen's village Cascais has become an European Royalty Riviera in the second half of the XX Century and is now famous tourist destination for Portuguese and foreigners alike.
Famous residents have included: Juan Carlos, the King of Spain; King Carol of Romania; King Umberto of Italy and Brian Adams.

The number one attraction in Lisbon is the Oceanario de Lisboa - aquariam, lots of fish and water...perhaps not the best place for the chaps to visit. 

And so to Cadiz - they even put a little red star on this map because they obviously know that very soon they will be hosting The Kipper and the crew-of-two.

 

And then onto Cadiz where they will jump off for the ride through to Mediterranean Sea. 

Monday 9th July 12

I have been neglectful in my duties to show you where our intrepid band of travellers have stopped so far in this trip.  You will see Gijon and La Coruna up there on the North Coast of Spain and then...



...they visited Porto seen near the top of the page and now, they are on overnight passage to Lisbon (about three quarters of the way down the map for the idiots like me who failed geography at skool). 

It's all quite exciting really, not long to go before they hang a left and zoom towards the Strait of Gibraltar.  The Kipper sent a text this morning at 11:14 hrs saying:

'We had a delayed start this morning, office didn't open till 9 to turn on the water, also needed engine oil from town and most important, FOOD!  Left just after 10:00 hrs, now sailing towards Lisbon 170 miles south.  Another overnighter.  Sun shining, sun cream and silly hats on.'

The Scribe expressed concern about the fact that she might not fit all these place names on the back of their tee shirts but the clever Kipper suggested she think outside the box and maybe have two columns. Mr Smarty Pants!!

He also let slip that one of the things on the crew shopping list was Baby Powder.  Silly, silly Kipper...like I wasn't going to mention that in the blog!!  I won't however, mention the one who purchased said powder to save his blushes.  The Kipper didn't actually say what it was for - he told me to use my imagination so I can only assume there are some kind of 'chafe' issues afoot. 

Which reminds of a mantra I once heard when I was sailing that goes a little something like this:

Chafe is your enemy
Alcohol is your friend
Free stuff is good stuff
and
Don't do the.....

...actually, I think I'll leave that there.

I eagerly await the next update from Lisbon. 

Still Sunday 8th July

Word had filtered through to The Kipper that Andy Murray had reached the final of Wimbledon and he expressed his relief that he would miss the press hysteria that would surely follow.  He sent the following update at 21:03 hrs on Friday evening:

'Ola, just finishing an adventure into Spanish food!  Very successful I think.  We've had a small glass or two of wine with dinner, can't have a late one, we're off at 8 in the morning.'

Clearly The Kipper had consumed more than a small glass because he mentioned that The Scribe's company and sense of humour was missed.  She rectified the problem by sending the following:

'Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and says, 'Does this taste funny to you?'

And this is the reply she received - verbatum -

'You silly cow!!! Where did that come from, a christmas cracker from 1950!!!'

It's amazing how brave a person can be when they are several hundred miles away: the Scribe reminded him that the pen is mightier than the sword.  He sent this back,

'By the way, one cannibal said can you pass the finger bowl, the other replied, sorry they've all gone!'

And so to get back to more sensible things; half way through this little verbal battle he mentioned that Porto is 200 miles south and that it the likely target.

At 07:13 hrs on Saturday morning The Kipper advised:

'Off again, south this time till the weather improves!'

At 19:51 hrs he updated on their progress:

'Today has been very difficult again.  Wind on the nose, heavy rain squalls, then when the wind did free off so we could make direct course it's died to nothing!"  Eventually we have reached our furtherst point west, 42.52'.8N 009.24'W off Cape Finisterre at 20:45 hrs.  Course now set for Porto Portugal 100 miles south.  Should be there by tomorrow (Sunday) night'.

He sent this picture which apparently shows the glorious sailing - and it does look good, deep blue sea, sunshine, shorts, sun hats and two of the grumpiest looking sailors I've ever seen.  I think the crew-of-two may have had words!!!

By 16:33 hrs today, I received the following from The Kipper:

'Have arrived at Porto for the night.  Sun shining northerly F5/6 blowing.  But it's warm, dry and the wind is in the right direction!  We'll see what tomorrow brings!!'

There followed some rather dull texts about tennis and then at 21:36 hrs The Kipper wrote:

'On passage last night so had a disturbed night so now off to bed.  Off in the morning at 8 for another overnighter subject to the wind dying a bit, blowing 25 knots at the moment.  Still fingers crossed.'