Thursday 19th January '12

Today was declarded national replace the winches day so I duly set off to meet The Kipper on the yacht so I could hold a screwdriver and have one of those conversations that are held the world over: you know the one - someone is below decks with all the hatches shut and they think that merely whispering a command will be enough to let the person standing out on deck hear them over the passing traffic - remember we're in the yard, on the hard-standing, next to a busy road and the boat hoist is being driven around the yard.  Let's also not forget that it's Chatham so there's a howling wind blowing through the yard that brings the wind chill factor down to -10!  All that can be heard are cries of: "What?"

...and

"I can't hear you..." 

...and

"What...this one?"

...and

"Don't take that tone with me or I'm off home..." 

I'm sure you get the picture.

All in all though it went quite well for at least the first 10 minutes.  I was sent up on deck armed with the biggest screwdriver on the boat - the one that is now blue because it always gets used to stir the anti-foul paint and was told to start working on the screws so that the old winch could be removed.  Unfortunately, in his haste and excitement The Kipper had removed the headlining and loosened all the bolts on the wrong winch.  I returned below decks to warm up while The Kipper replaced the bolts and headlining and started again.  I very helpfully went on deck and hammered loudly and for several minutes to make sure that he was in the right place.  What it is to have helpful, smug crew who would do well to remember that sooner or later they'll do something stupid to even he score.

Replacing the first winch went quite well once we'd overcome the first hurdles.  Once the old winch came off we cleaned the gelcoat and realised that the boat actually used to be white!  The Kipper drilled new holes because as a certain law dictates, the old holes will never ever be in the right place.  Out came the Sikaflex gun and we commence Operation 'get Sikaflex everywhere'.  We learned that whilst you do need to plaster the Sikaflex all over the base to ensure that no water can get in around the base of the winch, you shouldn't put it beneath the pins that run through the cogs and iternal workings of the winch.  All it did was prevent the pins from locating properly and as a result, the winch wouldn't quite go back together as it should: blinkin annoying because we had to take the flippin thing off and start again...I know, I know...language!

We did eventually manage to get the first winch fitted and feeling very proud of ourselves we began work replacing the starboard winch.  The Kipper made the mistake of leaving the boat to go off and visit the little boys' room leaving the crew in charge of dismantiling the headlining in the heads in order to get to the second winch.

Big mistake...

Huge...

He returned to find most of the headlining hanging down around the sink, all except the bit that we needed to get to and several important screws and washers sacrificed to the shower tray plughole.  Valuable minutes were lost replacing the headlining and hunting around in the toolbox to find replacement screws.  After this little hiccup the second winch was replaced smoothly and without too much fuss.  There was quite a lot of Sikaflex all over the crew by the end of the day: how it got all over the coats and jeans and the deck and the new winches and the old polishing clothes and the screwdrivers and in hair and on faces and on wristwatches and in the car...remains a mystery.

We were all done by 3.30 pm and as there was still a little daylight left, we carried out some remedial work on the headlining in the heads.  Older Westerly yachts have a bit of a problem with the headling falling down caused I think by the fact that the glue just gives up after a number of years and parts company with the foam backing on the headlining.  The Kipper's yacht is no different and he has found various ways of curing the problem thus preventing him from paying hundreds of pounds to have the interior stripped and all the lining replaced.  He had a piece of vinyl on board so we used this and covered a piece of plyboard that he had screwed up onto the deckhead to stop the lining falling down.  We decided to try using the remains of the Sikaflex to stick the vinyl to the board because we all know that no matter how much you try and make the thing air-tight, it always goes off rock hard and you have to buy a new tube.  It's a conspiracy by the manufacturer to get us to buy more of the stuff.

It actually worked very well and we felt very peased with the final result.  It remains to be seen whether or not the Sikaflex will be up to the job and will keep the vinyl secure.  This is going to be like one of those Yachting Monthly tests - we'll get back to you with the results in a few weeks.

The following day, The Kipper took the old winches and anodes to the scrap yard and received a tidy sum in return.